“You get people to like you.”
Mockingjay: Katniss Everdeen Inner Monolgue.
”Most days, I purposefully pass the hospital that restrains Peeta and I hope that he captures me. sometimes.
I let my mind exaggerate and almost beg faith for him to return to me. To remember me how I truly am, not how was falsely built to help us survive.
Mostly, he doesn’t pay attention to me at all but that doesn’t cause me to shift. His actions are beyond unsettling but still I continue to stand and stare.
I had noticed something though, it was very rare but at times when he would catch me, I saw a glimpse of remembrance in him. The memory flashes through both his eyes like a lighting bolt and for a split second, I swear my hands could fall into ‘The Boy With The Bread’s.’
The falling rain and the echoes of his mother frantic yells as the bakery door slams forcefully shut. The dew that is created on my clothes and the soft thump from the burnt bread roll as he tosses it to me and it touches my feet.
But as soon as the memory arrives, it is almost choked away as Peeta attacks the glass door that stands between us.
”MUTT!! MUTT!” I hear him scream.
Soon he is grabbed by the arms and his body is dragged back onto his bed, where he is one again sedated into silence.
That’s when I find it best suitable to see him. When he doesn’t know I’m here. I walk in and sit down next to him and I analyse the damage the Capitol have done.
”He’s looked worse, believe me.”I hear Johanna chuckle behind me.
But her words don’t hurt me, it’s the thoughts in my head that do: How I made a deal with Haymitch that I would promise to protect him, that regardless of my actions I would get him out alive.
This was worse, much worse.
Not only had I not stuck to my word, but I had convinced myself that I indeed was the enemy, the victim… the real monster.
Haymitch was indeed correct, I could live a thousand lives and never deserve him. But what he didn’t know was that I would live those thousand lives and always protect him. No matter what I would return as in those thousand lives, I would show him my loyalty and continue to fill out my duty to him because that’s what we do, we protect each other.
I can’t go down without a fight. Only I keep wishing I could think of a way to….to show the Capitol they don’t own me. That I’m more than just a piece in their Games.
thg meme → two ships [1/2] “peeta & katniss”
“200 miles per hour and you can barely feel a thing. I think it’s one of the wonderful things about this oportunity. That even though you’re here, and even though it’s just for a little while, you get to enjoy all this!” (★)